FINANCE AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE A BIG DEAL ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU MOVE IN TOGETHER
It’s true, love is blind and for many people it can be the beginning of an extremely expensive hard lesson to learn falling in love with the couch surfing Joe or Jane manipulators.
Before handing over keys to your apartment or place of residence, adding beneficiaries to investments and co-signing for anything not in your name beware of the hobosexual relationship type person who may prey on your heart and wallet.
Falling head over heals at the beginning of a dating whirlwind is exciting and it seems like everything is falling into place perhaps it’s a smart idea to step back and evaluate especially if you’re moving fast.
I know you probably haven’t heard of the hobosexual relationship before but today I want to dig a bit deeper into the meaning of being taken advantage of for personal gain.
The term “hobosexual” was brought to life by writer Nakita Nicci over at Rolling out who describes a hobosexual relationship as a person who doesn’t have a genuine interest in you but uses you for a place to stay.
This world is full of scammers and I’ve written many a blog posts about scams about money but this is a different type of scam where the person may or may not get money but they certainly get security.
A hobosexual craves a security blanket and someone to take care of them without putting any emotion or money into the relationship. Scary to think about but it happens all the time.
Let’s look into the hobosexual relationship a bit more so perhaps you can learn about it and watch for targets coming your way. Dodge them at ALL costs!
MEANING OF A HOBOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
What is a hobosexual relationship?
Well, there’s a Seattle-based alternative rock-band named the Hobosexual but this isn’t about your relationship with music it’s about your relationship in general.
A hobosexual according to Urban dictionary is a relationship based on need rather than love.
There are healthy relationships that are based on love and in most cases take time to develop.
Typically you don’t move in with someone a week or even two weeks or months into a relationship. To me that sends red flags that something is not right or the relationship is moving too fast.
This is why I’ve always said it’s important when dating someone to ask lots of questions and if they think you are coming off too strong, move on. It’s your life and you get to choose how you live it and who you invite into your circle or private space.
A fan sent me something he had read on Facebook the other day which triggered this post because I had never heard of being in a hobosexual relationship. He sent me a photo shared on the thread about this type of behaviour being that of a hobosexual.
Like you I had to Google it and read more into it because it definitely reeked of someone being taken advantage of financially, emotionally and perhaps physically.
A guy I’m into came over the other day. He sat in my living-room, looked around and said he could get use to this and listed a bunch of things he likes about my place.
Then when he was getting a beer, he checked out all of my cupboards and fridge and freezer. He said he likes to see how I live as he opened and looked into every last one. Dishwasher too!
This was his first time over. We aren’t dating, but hanging out and into each other.
I wanted to know more and I wanted to share with all of you who may be single, dating or actively seeking someone via dating apps etc. I’ve had my fair share of dating apps in my time so I know what it’s like but trust me if someone wants to lie they will do it online and in person no matter where you meet them.
A hobosexual can be male or female and target anyone who fits the perfect life or a life that they want in the present.
Hobosexual relationship example;
- Person A has no place to live or where they live is not ideal based on their needs or society’s.
- Person B has a nice place that is functional and one that Person A could see themselves living in.
- Neither Person A or Person B are in a relationship
- Person A pursues a relationship with Person B not based on love but on need for somewhere to live for free or near free.
n. pl. ho·boes or ho·bos1. One who wanders from place to place without a permanent home or a means of livelihood.2. A migrant worker.3. also hobo bag A large, crescent-shaped handbag with a single shoulder strap and usually a zippered top.
intr.v. ho·boed, ho·bo·ing, ho·boesTo live or wander like a vagrant a person without a settled home or regular work who wanders from place to place and lives by begging.
5 HOBOSEXUAL SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR
- Has no where to live, no address, avoids conversation about living arrangements
- Lies, lies and more obvious white lies. This person is manipulative and contradicting and in some cases may seem to good to be true, checks all the relationship material boxes or perfect with obvious flaws.
- Seeks sympathy from you about past relationships gone wrong and puts the blame on others. No single periods for years but multiple relationships.
- Goes through all of your cupboards or stuff in your house or car and makes remarks about moving in.
- Makes you pay for things and has excuses for money issues or asks for money or a loan.
Finally, if you feel the relationship is moving WAY TOO FAST, run like you’ve never run before.
HOW TO GET OUT OF A HOBOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP?
Ideally, don’t get into one at all but for those of you who have found themselves with a loser taking advantage of you boot their a$$ out.
On the other hand, it may not be as easy as you think especially if you’ve moved a partner into a space that your rent or own based on common-law as they fall under provincial jurisdiction.
If there is no common law and you own or are the sole name on the lease of a rental agreement pack up their stuff and kick em out!
Common-law relationships typically refer to couples that live together in an arrangement akin to marriage, but without an actual ceremony or legal documents.Ontario Justice Harvey Brownstone said there is no registration in his home province. In fact, as he points out, in Ontario, “common law” is more of a vernacular term. – Source CBC
There are many things to consider before moving in with someone especially from a financial standpoint so before you hand over those keys, do your homework and caution yourself to the hobosexual who couch surfs for free.
Discussion: Have you been involved in or know someone who enters into a hobosexual lifestyle? Share your comments below.